


Oh, won't you hold my hand?

by Miyukitty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Hands, Insecurity, M/M, Miscommunication, SASO 2016, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7656166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyukitty/pseuds/Miyukitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt:<br/><i>"I'm ready for this, there's no denying</i><br/><i>I'm ready for this, you stop me falling</i><br/><i>I'm ready for this, I need you all in</i><br/><i>I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, won't you hold my hand?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO2016 BR4 quote: 
> 
> _"Darling, hold my hand_  
>  _Oh, won't you hold my hand?_  
>  _Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore_  
>  _Won't you understand? Cause I don't wanna walk alone_  
>  _I'm ready for this, there's no denying_  
>  _I'm ready for this, you stop me falling_  
>  _I'm ready for this, I need you all in_  
>  _I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand"_  
>  -Jess Glynne
> 
> recently rewatched the asanoya arc in the beginning of the anime, so i was inspired to attempt my first time writing them :U hope it's okayyy, it's basically a character study focused on HANDS and also COMMUNICATION

 

 

Nishinoya loved Asahi's hands. They were the calloused hands of an ace, broad and strong, capable of delivering powerful spikes and breaking through any wall. He watched them, he put his faith in those hands, and he sent the ball back as many times as it took for those hands to connect.

  
  
But trust could be a more fragile thing than Nishinoya understood, at first. He trusted with an open heart and open eyes, a stubborn loyalty that refused to waver, a dogged determination to never let his teammates down. He wasn't someone who knew how to do things halfway. It was all or nothing, so he gave his all, and that was just the kind of man he was.

  
  
It was hard to comprehend, then, that Asahi could not trust as easily in return. Nishinoya wanted to close the gaps between them, and naively believed he could make up for any distance with his own tenacity. Relationships were different off the court, though – harder to connect through sheer willpower alone.

  
  
He watched a years' worth of trust splinter in the form of a broken mop handle left in a closet because _it could still be repaired_ , and felt his heart crack along with it.

  
  
"It's not your place to give up," he raged, because it _wasn't_ , and _why can't you understand that_ , and _how dare you try to take the blame for this_ , and _I don't want to play without you_. Sometimes faith could be shaken and there was nothing he could do.

  
  
It was frustrating to watch those strong hands tremble with doubt, to curl into defensive fists, to be shoved into pockets and hidden from his ever-watchful eyes. He watched Asahi's back as he walked away, fingernails digging into his palms.

 

All he could do was scream like a wounded animal with a voice that still did not reach him.

 

* * *

 

 

Asahi loved Noya's hands. They were quick, expressive, energetic, always moving when he spoke. His small hands always had something to say: a high five here, a fist pump there, fluttering, gesticulating, exaggerating larger-than-life. His slender fingers always sported new bruises, proud war badges from every miraculous save on the court.

  
  
He would never forget how startlingly strong that grip was, those familiar fingers twisting in his shirt and demanding he stay and _deal with this_ , and his heart sank when he pulled away, because he _couldn't_. He waited too long to respond (didn't know how to respond to feelings so earnest, so pure, when his own were murky, complicated, too heavy to force on someone else).

  
  
His feelings weren't any clearer when the new school year started, but the gravity of them kept pulling him back to the gym all the same. His fingers fiddled restlessly with the hem of his jacket, aching to feel the heft of the volleyball in his palm once more. Maybe, just maybe, it was worth trying again. But the anxiety curdled in his stomach, sick like soured milk, when he awaited their reactions to him slinking back.

  
  
The rejection Asahi feared never came. When he dared to meet Noya's eyes after weeks of avoiding him, all he found was easy acceptance. And just like that Noya was the safe presence at his back again, the clever hands of the guardian deity saving every blocked spike and giving him the courage to mount another attack.

  
  
The momentum of a new team, new chances, swept him up at once. Noya helped him believe he could grow. Asahi wasn't the ace they deserved, but maybe in time, he could be.

 

* * *

 

 

Nishinoya loved how big Asahi's hands were when they engulfed his, shaky and tentative until he curled his fingers firmly and anchored their hands together. They sat on the stoop outside the convenience store, finishing their popsicles one-handed and bumping knees as they watched the sunset.

  
  
"I missed this," he said suddenly, fierce with the intensity of the emotion coursing through him. Nishinoya loved with every fiber in his being, all-or-nothing. "I missed _you_."

  
  
His sharp eyes did not miss the bob of Asahi's throat when he swallowed, nor the tremble of his fingers. Asahi's palm was sweaty, but Nishinoya refused to let him pull away, not now, not ever.

  
  
"I'm so-"

  
  
"And no more apologizing for running away," Nishinoya cut him off brusquely, squeezing his hand and startling a nervous laugh out of Asahi.

  
  
The third year rubbed the back of his neck, smiling guiltily as he fidgeted. "It, uh, sounded like you broke up with me," he mumbled, casting his eyes downward. "After the fight, you got suspended, and I… I figured you didn't want to deal with me dragging you down anymore."

  
  
"You're a giant coward, Asahi," Nishinoya stated. "I can't even begin to understand why someone as big and strong as you is afraid of so many things."

  
  
Asahi spluttered, blinking in owlish confusion. He was temporarily appeased when Nishinoya leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his blushing cheek.

  
  
The second year continued steadily. "But I'm really proud that you made the choice to come back and keep fighting. You looked really cool out there, too, ace! I'm never gonna give up on you, so don't be so quick to give up on yourself, okay?"

  
  
If Asahi had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to the deep shade of red he turned after that promise. He mumbled something incoherent and ducked his face into his shoulder, hiding a goofy smile. Nishinoya grinned as Asahi squeezed his hand back, and settled in comfortably against his broad side to watch the sun sink below the horizon.

 

They would both keep trying.

 

**Author's Note:**

> my forever headcanon is that asahi is a flustered asexual and whenever noya calls him 'ace' as a nickname he has to stop and think which meaning noya is using 


End file.
